Got to meet up with some great friends on Tuesday for dinner! I was so happy to see them and was really excited to get out and be "Cadi" instead of "Mommy" for a few hours. In order to be on time for dinner, I had to pretty much rush out the door the second the hubby walked in. Since I was going out for dinner I didn't really make much for the two of them. Had a few leftovers in the fridge, but not a whole lot to eat.
So of course 20 minutes before I was leaving, the "guilt" set in. I quickly got some ground beef out and browned it for them and decided the hubby could do what he wanted with it, he mentioned making "Cheeseburger omelets" or something like that, or he could through some seasoning on it and make tacos. I figured it was better than nothing. I quickly steamed some peas for my baby girl, and figured the hubby could handle the rest.
I left thinking, do I really have to feel bad that there was a night I didn't have dinner ready for both of them? Then of course 1/2 way through dinner, I get the text telling me that "she is miserable". He hadn't intended to make me feel guilty, he was just letting me know they were having a rough night, but of course the guilt set in, again. I thought, he worked all day and then I left him with miss cranky pants and he had to make his own dinner. I really truly felt bad that I was out enjoying myself with friends while he was probably working his butt off to keep her happy, make dinner, and do bath and bedtime. He was so willing to let me go out, and he was more than happy to spend the night with his baby girl, but I still thought how could I do such a thing???
It wasn't until the drive home that I talked myself out of the guilty feelings. I tried to remind myself that I had a great time catching up with my girlfriends and I really need the time for myself sometimes too. And seeing that baby girl was asleep when I got home and everything went fine, I felt a little better.
It is amazing how when she was an infant I would feel guilty about leaving her, this time when I left I felt guilty about making my tired, hardworking husband take care of her while I had fun. Although, I was able to talk myself out of the guilt that night, I still feel it quite often. I know I need some "me" time once in awhile, and she needs some "daddy, daughter time" too. But just can't seem to stop thinking because he works long hours everyday that I shouldn't leave him with miss cranky all night long! How do I break this??
